Many thanks to Danielle Pergament for including me in this wonderful article!  Here are my top 7 favorites (but they are all good, so go buy the magazine and learn all 39 for yourself

1. Accept Praise: Just say “thank you” when someone gives you a compliment; don’t act like it is a challenge for a debate
2. Meditate: Tons of research shows how helpful mediation is for our well-being.  And, having recently completed my training in Transcendental meditation, I can tell you: this stuff is awesome!
3. Stop Envy: Be happy for those around you, not in competition for what they have
4. Workout: Looking for a “Magic Pill?”  Exercise is just the thing!  It boosts confidence, positive mood, creativity, productivity…
5. Don’t Exaggerate Your Mistakes: You are your toughest critic, so stop.  Be as nice to yourself as you are your best friend.  Imagine how good that will feel.
6. Put on Lipstick (or whatever else helps you feel good): When we feel comfortable on the outside, the confidence seeps into our minds, too
7. Volunteer: Reaching out and helping others helps us feel better about ourselves and our lives.

So try any of these confidence boosters today & let us know how they feel.

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In celebration of our country’s independence, here is an excerpt:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness

So, how do you think we, as a country, are doing on this last piece?

A Happy You as part of our Declaration of Independence

I think we are doing a stellar job at pursuing happiness.  Unfortunately many are going about it in unhelpful ways:

• Shopping “therapy”
• Overuse of prescriptive medications
• Seeking counsel from those famous therapists Ben & Jerry

This 4^th of July, let’s celebrate our life, liberty and pursuit of happiness in more helpful ways:

• Spend time with friends and family
• Relax
• Go for a swim, walk or bike ride
• Get outside
• Listen to some upbeat music
• Give yourself (and others) a break
• Be grateful for the treasures in your life

So have a happy 4^th of July and be A Happy You!

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Family get-togethers and reunions can be a time of joy for some and overwhelming dread for others.

The amazing Marina Khidekel wrote a wonderful article in July 5^th edition of Woman’s World (on stands now) providing terrific steps to having a great family reunion. Check it out (on page 23).  I had the pleasure of being included in her “Ask America’s Ultimate Experts” article.

In this post, I wanted to provide you with 5 additional tips on how to have a positive experience when getting together with family:

1. Determine your goal: Just because you are together again does not mean you have to re-hash old arguments.  Make a conscious decision to have fun and enjoy your time together, rather than settle arguments that started 20 years ago.
2. Develop a mantra: To help you stay focused on your goal, develop a mantra or a certain phrase that you repeat and will help you focus on enjoying yourself.  For example “Everyone in my family has their good points, too.  I chose to focus on them.”  Research shows focusing on the positives helps you have a more positive outlook.
3. Get moving- exercise not running away: Research shows exercise is a great way to reduce stress and release some feel-good endorphins.  Go for a walk, swim in the pool or put on some tunes and start dancing.
4. Take “The Happiness Challenge”: research shows that focusing on the positive (rather than concentrating on what is not going well) is a great way to be happier.  In my book A Happy You: Your Ultimate Prescription for Happiness, I talk about The Happiness Challenge where you challenge yourself to find at least 3 positive things about whatever (or whoever) is causing you stress.  Look for the good in people (“She had a hard life and I know deep down she does care about me”) and situations (“How grateful I am to have so many family members” or “I am so grateful the sun is shining”)
5. Have an “out” during the reunion: have a list of ways to reduce your stress during the event.  Ideas could include deep breathing, going for a walk, offering to do the dishes so you can’t hear your uncle continue to complain…

So enjoy the fireworks in the sky without any explosions among family members.

And please share some of your additional ideas on how to have A Happy You during a happy family reunion.

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I wrote about Tony and Zappos in “A Happy You” in Chapter W: Win-Wins.

Here is what I wrote:

Consider the philosophy of Zappos, the on-line shoe store. They have developed the ultimate win-win in business. CEO Tony Hsieh has said the company’s higher purpose is not profit but rather delivering happiness. As a result, much time and money go into enhancing happiness of the employees and their customers.

Regarding employees, for example, the culture is centered on what Hsieh describes as 10 committable core values (“those that we can actually apply”). These include:

• Create Fun and A Little Weirdness
• Be Adventurous, Creative, and Open-Minded
• Pursue Growth and Learning

With respect to this last one, “classic” books like Good to Great by Jim Collins are available for free to Zappos employees so they can quench their intellectual curiosity and become better people, not to mention workers. Food at the cafeteria and snacks in vending machines are also free to all employees, and cubicles (which even the CEO himself has) are decorated to allow self-expression of fun.

To make the customer experience as great as possible, when contacting customer service you actually reach a live person, with each representative in the US and trained to be upbeat, kind and helpful. In an effort to make buying shoes on line easy, merchandise can be returned for FREE up to a year after purchase.

The result? A win-win-win. Win for employees, win for customers and win for the company, with gross sales over $1 Billion in 2008. Seventy five percent of purchases are made by (happy) repeat customers. And, if you have been to Zappos.com you might notice they sell more than shoes. Why? According to CEO Hsieh because their customers asked for them to sell other items. Seems they want to buy more from this upbeat company.

Just ordered my copy of Tony’s new book “Delivering Happiness.” Can’t wait to read what I’m sure will be a humorous and inspiring story on how to bring happiness into the workplace.

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In an interview on CNN’s HLN, Tiffany Shepis, who was engaged to be married to Haim last May, said that he was taking 40 some-odd pills a day” of Valium and Vicodin. And he had struggled with drug abuse for years.

We are such a pill-popping society.

Don’t feel good? Take a pill.

Have some pain? Take a pill.

Not feeling happy? Take a pill.

Without a doubt, medications can be extremely helpful. By no means am I anti-prescriptions.

What I do find so sad, though, is our over-reliance on them.

If you are feeling emotional pain, try taking the happiness prescription.

Apply research-supported ways to feel better both short and long term.

And, unlike medications, the side effects of your happiness prescription include: better relationships, greater productivity, and even weight loss.

Sign up here for your weekly dose of the happiness prescription.

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NINE WORDS WOMEN USE
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men . A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That’ s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’ .. that will bring on a ‘whatever’).

(8) Whatever: Is a woman’s way of saying get lost!

(9) Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to # 3.

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As we share thoughts, prayers and donations with the survivors as well as the tens of thousands who lost their lives, let’s also take a step back to look at our own lives.

Five days after the earthquake, a two year old was miraculously pulled from the rubble ALIVE. It brought tears to my eyes reading the article. And made me run to my own children to embrace them, to breathe in their scent, to relish the way they felt in my arms.

So today, how about hugging everyone you love who is still around? Experience gratitude for their presence in your life… while you still can.

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How’s it going? That good, huh?

Repeat after me: Fast eating is still eating.

There seems to be this logic (or, rather illogic) that, if we eat a “forbidden” food, it is not as bad if we eat it quickly. It’s like the opposite of the floodgates opening up. That hand keeps propelling from bag to mouth in an apparent ceaseless ricochet, trying to cram in as many chips as possible to squelch the guilt. There is minimal enjoyment. And it is almost as if the person believes it is the time of consumption rather that the caloric intake that contributes to weight gain.

Ever fallen victim to this?

Try this: eat mindfully. Want a cookie? Try truly savoring each bit. See how looooong it can take you to eat just one bite. Enjoy the smell, sound, texture, taste, thoughts and feelings associated with your treat. You and your waistline will appreciate it much more!

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Lots of people are throwing out various resolutions this time of the year: lose weight, start exercising, stop smoking, eat better.  And all of these are certainly important.

Another great change for anyone is “Be Happier.”

And that is where this bog comes in.  You see, it is my mission to help people have less stress and more happiness, regardless of what is going on in life.

Does that sound like something you might like?

Sure.

But maybe it sounds impossible for you right now.  Maybe you are facing some challenges that you think prevent happiness from being a part of your life: relationship issues, job loss, financial strain, problems with your health, being overweight.

Maybe you think those things have to change in order for you to be happy.

I am here to tell you that is not true.  You CAN be happier RIGHT NOW, even without anything else changing in your life.

How?  Stay tuned to this blog and you will find out.

Want more now?  Go to the Home page and sign up for the first chapter of my book “A Happy You: Your Ultimate Prescription for Happiness” to get started on your happiness resolution today.

Thanks for stopping by.  Here’s to an even happier you!

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