Kate Bratskeir wrote a terrific article in the Huffington Post entitled

Holiday Party Stress: 9 Tips To Actually Enjoy Your Office Event

I had the pleasure of being interviewed for the article.  Here are three of my favorite tips:

1. Don’t go to the party hungry: that can make you irritable, eat more and feel effects more quickly of any alcohol you may consume
2. Dress the part: if you think it might be inappropriate, it probably is
3. Reach out to new people: this can be a great opportunity to chat with your boss’ boss who you rarely see or even just meet that person who you pass in the hall every day

You can read the entire article here.

Let us know how your office holiday party goes!

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In addition to divorce, marital problems can lead to:

So, for YOUR health and the health of your children, don’t you think it is time to get some marriage counseling and learn how to be happy in marriage?

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What is a happy marriage?

Get marriage advice from best selling author and psychologist Dr. Elizabeth Lombardo with Dr. Jeff Gadere from this TODAY Show interview with Al Rocker and Natalie Morales.

Learn the secrets to a happy marriage life!

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In our stressed out, plugged in, amped up society, sleep seems to take a back seat to working, playing, facebooking, texting and even surfing.

In fact, about 20% of Americans experiences moderate to excessive daytime sleepiness.

So what’s the big deal?

Not getting the sleep you need can lead to a host of problems including:

• Irritability
• Depressed mood
• Anxiety
• Martial strain
• Reduced productivity
• Tendency to overeat
• Weight gain
• Alcohol abuse
• Difficulty concentrating
• Slower reaction times (leading to hundreds of thousands of accidents each year
• Pain
• Weakened immune system (leading to sickness)

Doesn’t sound too happiness- inducing, does it?

The good news, though, is that getting a good night’ sleep can be pretty easy IF you take some important steps:

1) Prioritize sleep: schedule your sleep and stick to the schedule. Set an alarm, if you need to, to remind yourself to get to bed.

2) Optimize your sleeping conditions.. Turn off the TV, computer and cell phone so they don’t disturb you. Make your bedroom sleep friendly, too, by providing comforts such as soft bedding and thick curtains.

3) Follow a wind-down routine to help you relax before bedtime. Take a warm shower, listen to relaxing music with the lights dimmed, meditate or read. Relaxing the body and mind before getting into bed can also help decrease stress and stressful thoughts.

4) Keep your thoughts in check. Thoughts such as “I have to get sleep tonight or I won’t be able to function tomorrow . . .” will only stress you out.  For some, keeping a journal next to their bed is helpful. In it, they can write down what’s on their mind before bed, or if they wake up in the middle of the night with an idea, they jot it down and then go back to sleep. This helps to keep the thoughts out of their head when it’s not a convenient time to think about them.

5) Watch what you eat and drink close to your bedtime. Caffeine, nicotine and alcohol all deter a good sleep, so try to keep the first two (if necessary) to hours before five o’clock pm. Alcohol may help you fall asleep, but can severely inhibit restful and consistent sleep; try a warm bath or relaxation CD prior to bed instead of an alcoholic drink.

Try these five steps to get a better night’s sleep and be an even happier you!!!

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You can also see our entire interview here:

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Thanks to all of you who have requested an audio version of my bestselling book A Happy You: Your Ultimate Prescription for Happiness!

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People-watching, celebrity-spotting acceptable pastime in airports

So, what do YOU think? Is people-watching OK at the airport?

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Now, please hear me say that, in my practice, it happens that both women and men come in and say this. But, to make matters easier (using “he/she” can get tedious), I will just use an example of the wife coming in.

The first thing I say is “Before you make any final decisions about your marriage, let’s take some time to focus on you. My bet is that you are pretty stressed out right now and not as happy as you would like to be. Is that a safe guess?”  I say this because if I try to convince her that she may not, in fact, need to get a divorce, her stress and frustration will not allow her to agree. But, without a doubt, she can agree that she is not happy at that moment.

Of course, she is resolute that her discontent is caused by her husband. But we also put that blame on the back burner.

So, after we agree to put the marriage topic on hold and focus on her own happiness, things really start to change.

Why? Because an unhappy person is more likely to have an unhappy marriage.

I don’t know about you, but when I am overly stressed or upset about something that has nothing to do with my marriage, I am not the best wife. I might be a little short tempered with my husband (OK, or a lot short-tempered). I might interpret what he says or does in a negative (and unrealistic) way.  I might overly react to something that was meant to be supportive, but I took it as an insult.  Can you relate?

The same thing also happens with my clients.

Take Lori, as an example. Lori was stressed out at work. She experience immense guilt as a working mom. Her confidence was not very strong, and she was exhausted (mentally and physically).

When Lori first came to see me, she wanted OUT of her marriage. She viewed her husband, Bob, as unsupportive and selfish.

Rather than try to get Bob to come into sessions, I focused on helping Lori feel happier.

As I have said a gazillion times before in this blog (and on the Today Show, my TEDx talk and about 100 other public venues), happiness is a skill. When you learn the right skills and practice them, you cannot help but be happier.  And this happens regardless of what is going on in your life, your marriage, your work, your body, your world.

During our sessions together, Lori learned and practiced the skills of happiness. She learned more effective ways to cope with her stress, release her guilt, believe in herself and enjoy her life.

And, guess what else happened?

Lori started enjoying her marriage again.

Where she used to see Bob as unhelpful and even hurtful, she now saw that he was, in fact, trying the best he could. She did not personalize his own stressful times. She no longer relied on him to say something to boost her confidence in order to feel good about herself. She was able to openly communicate with Bob about her needs and desires, as well as his. She viewed her husband as a team member rather than a rival.

All because she, herself, was happier.

So, go ahead. Follow The Happiness Prescription. Be an even happier you. And enjoy how your marriage blossoms!

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